The other day I went to the store all by myself! That was strange, no car seats to buckle and unbuckle, not as many trips to the potty and I got done is less than two hours and made it back home. It was like the twilight zone for me.
I have learned it takes some planning to go out with kids, spontaneity is much more difficult a thing to come by once you have children. Actually it is really non-exisitent and most people who don't have children don't understand that and those who haven't had a toddler in the house for many years seem to forget what it can be like.
I will say this, it is easier now than it was with my first child all those years ago, as a newborn she screamed in the car...all the time. People would say "babies sleep in the car" and I would be like...on what planet? Car rides were kept to very short trips because the stress of it was too much to bear very much very often and I couldn't stand to make her cry just so I could go somewhere, she learned to like car rides by age one thankfully.
Well these days I am toting two partially potty trained toddlers. So, you can imagine the stuff I have to remember. Cups, wipes, pull-ups and diapers, extra clothes, tissues, car ride entertainment must be in the car like books or a toy, the girl has her things she wants with her now like her purse or backpack and jewelry or a doll for her to pretend care for while we are out. The list is endless for long trips and over night.....well, I don't do that. My kids are creatures of habit and we are pretty miserable in a bed other than our own.
I have learned there are a few things I have to have a lot of in order to go out with kids and make our errand running and visits to friends enjoyable and free of stress.
Rule #1- Be patient, very patient. There will be surprises and detours. Plan on the trip taking at least twice as long as it would if you went by yourself or only with adults. Plan on it taking you at least 30 minutes longer to get ready per child. So for me an extra hour or so is taken to get ready. You never know when someone may dirty themselves and you have to get them ready all over again.
Rule #2- Come prepared, if you don't feel like carrying it too bad, at least leave it in the car. You never know how much that towel or blanket, whatever may come in handy when you least expect it. Take twice as much of everything you think you actually need. It doesn't always come down to needing it but when you do, trust me you will be grateful you "over" packed the diaper bag.
Rule #3- Relax, I know sometimes easier said that done but when we are out we will often take a group "time out" to regroup and calm down. Maybe one kid was throwing a fit in the store and we were getting stares, or maybe we just had a poopy accident that took a long time to clean up and now we are all feeling a little tired and stressed, whatever the reason for the stress quickly find a place to just be still for a minute or two. The kids get used to this and sometimes I take a personal time out in the car before heading in the next store. The kids are listening to their music or maybe they fell asleep in the car because we have been out a long time. It is usually that I start rushing thinking I need to get it all done fast and I start to feel out of breath, worn, and not enjoying myself at all. So, I just sit there and close my eyes and breath deep breaths until I feel better. For longer trips this may consist of having to stop at a rest stop and have a snack, taking about a 15-30 minute break. It is worth the time. Then we are ready to move on to the next errand. which brings me to...
Rule #4- Don't rush, we get done when we get done. The house and the work in it will be there when we get back. We have many days of all day at home, let's just enjoy our outing shall we?
Rule #5- Smile! I like to try to smile at people and enjoy my children and not get flustered if they get in someones way in the store. I just smile and say how are you so sorry about that, how are you today? This usually gives the otherwise annoyed person a chance to stop and see, "She is doing her best, the kids didn't mean to get in my way, oh, they are cute aren't they?" How many times have you had someone look downright angry at your children because they didn't move out of the way fast enough? Yeah, it happens, just take it for what it is and smile. Some people don't have kids or they are just having a really bad day. You never know, I've had my fair share.
Rule #6- This rule helps make all the others happen. Plan ahead, even for the small trips. Even for the unexpected trips! How to plan for the unexpected? Be prepared with a full diaper bag and keep your house well. I find that when I am doing my keeping of the home well I am a lot better prepared for the unexpected. Making sure you have money around, food around, clean clothing, plenty of kid medicines, clean house as best you can, packed "emergency" bag, toys already in the car for bye bye, and the house organized enough I can find my keys, wallet, clothes, and everything quickly without having to search for it. All of the things we do while we are at home can help make it easier to deal with an unexpected outing or unexpected anything for that matter.
Rule #7- Have fun! Even running errands can be a great chance to enjoy your kids. Laugh with them, point out cool things to them, get them a balloon at the store, make the ride in the shopping cart extra fun with start and stop games, even teaching can happen as they see all kinds of new things. I have actually had a woman who crossed our path twice in the same store stop to tell me with a grin on her face "Yall are just having too much fun!" I just said, "yes we are!"
So, I hope that you found something useful or at least enjoyed my little rules for outings. I do love going out with my children. It is kinda strange to not have them in the grocery store with me. Feels big and lonely and it is so great to see them have fun just riding around or helping me push the cart. Sure it takes an hour longer but it is worth it. Though it is still ok to leave them home with daddy now and again.
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